Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Sample Dialogue

You know that pitch I wrote a few weeks back? As I thinking of what to have it be about, I thought if I wrote dialogue for it, it would be easier. Well, sure enough, it was. So here's a scene from it.

Just as she finishes clearing the table, the doorbell rings.


HELEN (O.S.)
(singsong)
Yoo-hoo, Janet. Are you in there?

JANET
Just a second, Helen.

She walks into:

INT. FOYER - MID-MORNING (1958)

Janet stops in front of the mirror, touches up her hair and continues to the door.

EXT. GRAYSTON HOUSE DOORWAY - MID-MORNING (1958)

JANET
(opening door)
Hello, Helen!

She looks over and realizes that Helen isn't alone. She is with a man who's in his early thirties. He has dark hair and eyes and a thin beard. He is sensibly dressed in a dark gray pinstripe suit.

JANET (CONT'D)
(noticing man, quiet)
Hello.

He nods.

HELEN
(to man)
This is Janet Grayston. She is a close friend of mine who has a life I just envy.

JANET
Aren't you going to introduce me to this gent, Helen?

HELEN
Oh, where are my manners? Silly me. Janet, I'd like you to meet Max Kovan. He just moved here.

MAX
(holding out hand)
Pleased to meet you.

JANET
(shaking hand)
Likewise. Please, come in.

INT. FOYER - MID-MORNING (1958)

Helen and Max walk in. Janet points to the living room couch.

JANET (CONT'D)
Can I get you two some coffee?

MAX
Yes, thank you.

HELEN
Yes, please.

JANET
Just be quiet, okay? Roy's sleeping.

MAX
Roy?

JANET
(going into kitchen)
My husband.

HELEN
They've been married for five years.

MAX
Ah.

Janet comes in a with a two-thirds full coffee pot and two mugs.

JANET
(pouring coffee)
So, Max, you just moved here?

MAX
(accepting mug)
Yeah, I'm living down the street.

HELEN
Where the Schwartzes used to live.

JANET
Where are you from?

MAX
New York. I wanted to go someplace with a slower pace and I remembered Virginia when Mary and I passed through here once.

JANET
Mary?

MAX
She's my wife. Well, was my wife.

HELEN
Divorce?

MAX
Death.

JANET
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

MAX
Thanks.

HELEN
When did she die?

MAX
About a year ago.

JANET
Do you have any children, Max?

MAX
No, do you?

JANET
No. What's New York like? I haven't been there.

MAX
Well, it's a fast city and you have to be quick otherwise you aren't going to have any place to go.

JANET
You said you moved here because you wanted to take things at a slower pace, right?

MAX
That is correct, yes.

HELEN
You should this place during the autumn. The leaves changing colors are just gorgeous.

MAX
I'll keep that in mind.

HELEN
(looking at clock, getting up)
Well, I should get going. I have errands to run.

MAX
(getting up)
I should go too. There are a couple of job openings I'm interested in.

INT. FOYER - MID-MORNING (1958)

Janet follows them to the door. Max stops and turns around.

MAX (CONT'D)
Oh, and Janet?

JANET
Yes?

MAX
(light smile)
Thank you for your hospitality. You're a very kind woman.

He takes Janet's hand and kisses it, prompting her to blush. He leaves and Helen whispers:

HELEN
Isn't he something?

JANET
(quiet, dry)
Yeah...

Helen leaves. Janet, still blushing, smiles brightly from Max's kind words.

Let me know if you want to read more of what I've written for this. I wrote a lot.

1 comment:

  1. This was quite good Anna! I can feel the subtext and tension beneath all the small talk.

    ReplyDelete

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